A new year has begun.
Some years, December 31st passes into January 1st without a lot of fanfare, it seems.
I mean, there are always potential parties to attend, places to go, and other ways to ring in the New Year.
(But we HSPs generally don’t go for those things anyway … big crowds and small talk are the kinds of prospects that make us want to turn and run the other way.)
But this year was different. The turning of the year gave us all a little more reason to celebrate (even if we needed to do so from home in order to safely socially distance).
This past year was 2020, and I need say no more. We all know what transpired in 2020. We also all know we’re not out of the woods yet, but we’re still going forward one day at a time. (What other choice do we have?)
But while we all “know” what happened in 2020, we don’t. Not really. Because each of us has seen the year through our own eyes, none of us know the whole story. The story that is all of us but is also each of us.
It has been a lonely year for me.
Strange, because I actually have had less alone time than usual due to my particular circumstances. But it has been lonely in that I have felt in some ways forgotten, neglected, pushed aside (again, due to certain things that took place in my particular circumstances).
I have found that loneliness isn’t exactly a state of being. It’s a state of mind. A state of feeling.
And as a highly sensitive person, I realize now that loneliness is something I have struggled with nearly all my life in some way.
Perhaps the struggle for you has been similar. Or maybe you have faced something else.
- Insecurity due to losing a job.
- Sorrow and grief with the loss of a loved one.
- The pressure of trying to provide for a family in an uncertain economy.
Your struggle has been part of your story this year.
Your story and no one else’s. I think part of the loneliness I have felt was that I didn’t have anyone to share my story with.
I mean, I could vent some things to a couple of family members, or share other challenges with my partner, but perhaps it is part of my “beingness” as a highly sensitive person that makes it difficult for me to truly share just how difficult some things have been.
How hurt I have felt by friends failing to stay in touch when I needed them most. How frustrated I feel because of the lack of space and solitude (which is different from loneliness and something I, as an HSP, deeply need).
Yet a new year begins. It is 2021 now.
The days before me spread, unlived, unmarred.
How will they unfold? What story will I find written on the pages?
There is much out of my control, but also much that I can control. Little things, mainly.
- Taking a few moments outside, even if the weather is too cold for my liking … just to get a bit of space (and some needed exercise).
- Or waking up a little earlier than I would otherwise to fit in a bit of reading.
It doesn’t have to be a big thing to make a big difference, does it?
Maybe it is the little things that make the biggest difference.
I don’t know if my sharing these few thoughts has helped you, the one reading this, in any way. But I hope it has.
I hope it has offered a little bit of clarity, perhaps, to your own feelings or experiences of this past year.
More than likely, your year was also more challenging than the average year. Lonely. Stressful. Even grievous.
But it is a new year, and I wish you moments of peace, bucketsful of hope, and skies of bluest blue.