There’s so much stigma around the idea of being sensitive.
As a highly sensitive person, even among the people who love me, so much of the time I feel like I cannot fully be myself because I’m afraid I will not be accepted if they know:
- Just how sensitive I am
- How much I overthink things
- How deeply I feel certain things
- And how hard it is to let some things go
I deeply appreciate them and my time with them …
But I sometimes wish I could just have some time to myself and go on a retreat or hole up in a monastery somewhere and not emerge until I feel like I have found the part of myself that I want to be.
And then I feel guilty and selfish for wanting these things (and even feeling like I need them) but I also feel frustrated that I never get them.
Never get, it feels like, sometimes even a moment to think deeply and reflect and process.
I wonder how much I am missing.
Missing out on the person I could be because I am instead so engulfed and consumed by what is going on around me.
And then, at times, missing out on what is going on around me by disappearing into my dream world, the world of the imagination or of story … just to get a few minutes of release or peace.
I’m feeling guilty by this constant tension that is going on inside me and wearied by it. So tired, so much of the time.
I come from a large family and a mother who was anything but highly sensitive.
She reminisces about how she went years in motherhood without a single day off, and it’s true. She did.
For so long I felt so guilty wondering how she did it and why I couldn’t function at that same level.
It’s taken me a long time to realize and accept (and sometimes I still don’t accept) that I’m just a different person.
That I am a highly sensitive person.
And that that’s okay.
Sensitivity and Self-Acceptance
Acceptance of ourselves is so important, especially as highly sensitive people, but it’s one of the things that we find the hardest to do:
To accept ourselves for who we are and embrace that and choose to belong …
… whether we necessarily feel like we belong or not.
This is the task before me, and if it is the task before you as a highly sensitive person, I hope that you will also find the strength to embrace it.
I hope you will find strength to accept yourself as the complex and deep and sometimes shadowed and sometimes bright whole of the person that you are.
Because that person is beautiful.